Framing and feedback have different objectives, but they often go hand-in-hand in holistic life coaching approaches.
The main aim of effective communication is to be heard and understood, without judgement. This often requires that we provide ‘feedback’ to our clients to reflect what we are hearing and interpreting through our observations during the coaching exchange.
Framing is a powerful tool that helps us prepare our clients to receive supportive and important feedback that they may not be aware of, not want to hear, or not realise is contributing to their problem.
Framing usually always comes before feedback. The ‘frame’ is how we set the scene for our communication exchange based on what we’re observing the client say, do and react to. It sets the scene for how you intend your feedback to be received.
At the very beginning of each coaching relationship, we need to establish the framework for our type of approach by outlining the expectations and boundaries of how we will work with our client.
If we also gain permission to interrupt the client when they are self-sabotaging, talking continuously about the problem, or dismissing the actual issue with defensive objections, we are framing our communication style and setting the scene for a collaborative coaching relationship.
For example:
- We frame our feedback to the client, so we are not misunderstood in our approach.
- We frame our open-ended questions, so they are not taken as criticism.
- We frame our interruption, so it is not taken for rudeness.
- We frame our challenges to remind our client that they agreed to be open to change!
- We frame our genuine concern when calling our client out on their old patterns so that it is taken as a growth opportunity, offering a new way of thinking or behaving around an issue.
If you think of the sandwich analogy – frame your feedback with a positive, insert the suggestion for change or improvement, (which on its own would be taken as negative criticism), then top it off with a reinforcement of the positive.
By framing our feedback with a preparatory statement such as,
“You are showing a lot of courage in confronting this issue, well done. You might not be aware, but you just said something that conflicts with something you said earlier. May I reflect that back to you because I think you might find it very interesting to be aware of?”…
…we provide the client with an opportunity to be more responsive in gaining new insights and information that they may find challenging, or had not previously noticed about themselves or their attitudes.
Framing enables the client to have a way of interpreting what you’re saying so that it serves and enhances your interaction. It provides, in technical terms, an ‘interpretative representation’ so that they will be much less likely to misinterpret, or take offence, at the feedback you’re providing.
If you frame how you will communicate any feedback at the beginning of your coaching relationship – alongside establishing and maintaining rapport – you will always be met by a more receptive and willing client.
Want to become a Certified Holistic Life Coach and learn valuable communication skills for change? Take a look at our flagship and most popular Holistic Life Coach & Mind-Body Practitioner certification course HERE.
Featured image by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash.
Author:
Viki Thondley
Viki Thondley-Moore is an Integrative Holistic Counsellor, Brain-Based Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Mind-Body Somatic Practitioner, Wellness Coach, Meditation Teacher, Educator and Disordered Eating Specialist. Viki is founder of MindBodyFood and Founder/Director of the MindBodyFood Institute.
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