Self-regulation involves understanding and managing emotions, setting and pursuing goals, staying calm under pressure, and demonstrating self-discipline. Self-regulation isn’t merely about self-control though; it’s a holistic set of skills that foster emotional intelligence, resilience, and personal effectiveness.
It’s easy to think of success as a result of external factors, such as luck or opportunity. However, a closer look tells us that many accomplished individuals have learned the skills to control and manage their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. The beautiful thing about self-regulation is that it’s not an innate trait that only some people are born with. It’s a skill set that can be developed and honed with practice.
Self-regulation is an incredible internal compass that we can use to effectively move through life’s ups and downs as we pursue our goals.
Below are 15 qualities of proficient Self-Regulators, offering insights into how you can cultivate these characteristics and enhance your personal and professional life:
- Understand Emotions: Self-regulators are aware of their emotions and the impact these can have on their behaviour. They can recognize when they are becoming emotionally charged and take steps to manage these feelings effectively.
- Delay Gratification: They can delay immediate pleasure for long-term benefits. They have the ability to resist impulses and avoid acting on them without considering the long-term consequences.
- Set and Pursue Goals: Self-regulators have a clear understanding of their goals and are able to follow a plan to achieve them. They are effective at planning and prioritizing.
- Stay Calm under Pressure: They handle stress well, maintaining composure even in challenging or high-pressure situations. They tend not to be reactive, but instead respond thoughtfully and calmly.
- Practice Mindfulness: They are present in the moment and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around them. This helps them to make more balanced and rational decisions.
- Exhibit Self-Discipline: They have a high level of self-discipline, enabling them to follow through on plans and resist temptation. This also relates to maintaining good habits and breaking bad ones.
- Adapt to Changes: They are flexible and can adapt to new situations or changes in plans. They can adjust their strategies when faced with unexpected obstacles.
- Understand and Accept Limits: Self-regulators understand their strengths and weaknesses and are aware of their limitations. This understanding allows them to work within their capacities and seek help when necessary.
- Demonstrate Empathy: They are attuned to the feelings of others, which can help them navigate social situations and work effectively in teams.
- Maintain a Positive Attitude: They generally have a positive outlook and are able to remain optimistic even when faced with difficulties. This can help them stay motivated and resilient in the face of adversity.
- Manage Time Effectively: They are excellent at managing their time and prioritizing tasks. They understand the importance of balance and are skilled at juggling multiple tasks and deadlines.
- Self-Reflect: They regularly self-reflect to evaluate their behaviors, emotions, and progress toward their goals. This helps them learn from their mistakes and continuously improve.
- Exhibit Persistence: They are tenacious and do not give up easily on their goals, even in the face of difficulties or setbacks. They view failures as opportunities for learning and growth.
- Exercise Healthy Lifestyle Habits: They maintain a balanced diet, engage in regular physical activity, ensure they get adequate sleep, and make time for relaxation and recreation. This contributes to their overall well-being and ability to cope with stress.
- Seek Constructive Feedback: They are open to receiving feedback from others and using it as a means to improve their performance and personal development.
These 15 qualities allow self-regulators to manage their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours effectively in order to achieve their goals and maintain a balanced lifestyle.
Whether you’re a coach, practitioner or therapist wanting to learn new insights to pass onto your clients, or you simply want to get a handle on your own mood, mind and emotions, practising just one or two of these qualities can really help to make a difference to your overall wellbeing and interpersonal relationships.
Author:
Viki Thondley
Viki Thondley-Moore is an Integrative Holistic Counsellor, Brain-Based Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Mind-Body Somatic Practitioner, Wellness Coach, Meditation Teacher, Educator and Disordered Eating Specialist. Viki is founder of MindBodyFood and Founder/Director of the MindBodyFood Institute.
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