Meaning and purpose play important roles in human happiness. Losing meaning or purpose in life increases stress, overwhelm, and helplessness.
I see this constantly when working with clients and students.
When I ask what they want or need in their lives, or what they value most, the answer is often a complete mystery because they’ve never stopped to consider these deeper insights into their own desires for meaning before.
Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, has spent the last 30 years carrying out research into peoples’ beliefs about their abilities. Dweck came to the same conclusion as Positive Psychology pioneer, Martin Seligman. That is, we have two types of mindsets: fixed, and growth.
You may have struggled for many years with your limiting mindsets, past traumas and fears. You may also have spent a fair amount of time talking about your pain, focusing on your problems, or receiving help to overcome them. Most probably by the time you sought out help to move forward with, you were sick and tired of talking about the problem, and were ready to move beyond it!
People can spend years focusing on their problems, naming them, breaking them down and picking them to pieces – and that’s before they even enter a therapeutic relationship in an attempt to deal with the problem. Unfortunately, many traditional approaches to therapy and change encourage a great deal of focus on the original problem, which inadvertently strengthens the connections in your brain around it.
Outdated psychological treatments often prevent a person from rising above the past and overcoming their problems because of their focus on the past – and the problem. This is a key point to note in the difference between coaching and therapy.
With the accumulated knowledge of therapy or life experience, you may have established a foundation for clarifying what you would no longer like to focus on and why. It’s essential to take this awareness a step further to create a new mindset and attitude that allows us to move beyond the problem and into the optimism and action-taking of solution-finding.
Positive psychology interventions are designed to increase wellbeing through the cultivation of positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Moving from mental “illness” to mental “wellness” requires experiencing pleasurable activities, engaging in our lives fully, and creating a life of meaning.
When your mind is fixed on a problem instead of a solution, your resilience is compromised. You’ll momentarily forget the strengths you possess to rise above, push through and move forward.
With a distraction on the negative we disconnect from the necessity to face adversity with a balance of vulnerability and courage, fear and self-belief. This is what our Holistic Life Coaches are skilfully trained to do. We help clients re-connect with their true selves and rediscover the strengths already within their power.
Moving forward means first switching your focus from the problem, onto strengths and positive experiences that support a solution.
This entails gently challenging your perceptions and consciously focusing your brain to scan for evidence of past successes and triumphs, also referred to as positive learnings.
Identifying your strengths is a valuable activity in helping propel you forward with more confidence and courage to challenge and change your limiting beliefs and develop a growth mindset.
Instead of worrying over what you might consider weaknesses, celebrate your strengths.
Utilise them and build upon them. Play to your natural talents and do something every day to expand and develop them to use to your advantage.
Here’s to finding solutions using your strengths!
Featured image by name_ gravity on Unsplash.
Author:
Viki Thondley
Viki Thondley-Moore is an Integrative Holistic Counsellor, Brain-Based Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Mind-Body Somatic Practitioner, Wellness Coach, Meditation Teacher, Educator and Disordered Eating Specialist. Viki is founder of MindBodyFood and Founder/Director of the MindBodyFood Institute.
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