Why Do We Feel Stressed?
For years that was me. Before the day even started, I was already feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. The tasks were piling up and my motivation wasn’t there. I felt exhausted at the end of the long week. But to the contrary, when the weekend came rather than going to the local beach and getting some well-deserved R&R, I dived into the house renovation, attending yet another course or participating in an event because it was on my calendar.
Stress can come from many directions. Our job and pressure to perform at work may be high, our family responsibilities may increase depending on the stage of life we are in, or our financial obligations can give us many sleepless nights.
The more often we tell ourselves that we have to attend to every possible venture we put on our infamous to-do list, the more stressed and overwhelmed we get.
I don’t believe that there is anyone on this planet not knowing that living in stress response is damaging to our body and mind, that we are aging faster, and that we pay a very high price for living this way. In a way, we are stuck living in the stress response. We know we need to change, but any change is hard when we are addicted to a certain behaviour. And we can get easily addicted to stress.
Is that you? Feeling pressured about your work, family commitments, relationships, financial uncertainty? Telling yourself that the one glass of wine at night will help you to fall asleep easier, and that second cup of coffee in the morning will give you the energy you need for the day.
This is a common scenario so many of us live in. We start our mornings putting out fires, rather than getting ready for the opportunities the day will bring us. Yes, it happens because it became very understood that we live in a constant state of stress and overwhelm. This way of living is so common, that for so many of us it is the norm. But you see, only because it is common, does not mean that it is normal or that it should be.
How to Change It
Gaining self-awareness as to why we are staying in this way of living, is the first step to changing it.
Here are a few tips on how to do it:
- As with any addiction, you need to look for triggers. What is causing you stress in life? Which area of life may need some attention?
- Rewrite your stress story. Somewhere deep down you know what is that secondary gain from living in a state of busyness. Is it your self-worth? Or maybe you feel like you are not enough as you are? Or maybe the old-time favorite syndrome of I’ll be happy when… comes to mind. If any of your stories don’t empower you, it is time to change them.
- Re-define urgency. Making a list of ALL the tasks you have on your plate, all the daily stressors making you feel out of breath will help you to realize that you have a lot going on. And although we tend to mark everything as urgent, not everything is. Select only those items which are truly urgent to you, pick no more than 3 for the day and see your stress level dropping.
Conclusions…
Only because something is common, does not necessarily mean that it is normal or that it should be. Now is the perfect time to investigate the relationship you have with stress and examine the level of addiction.
The long-term effects of stress may seem invisible today, but they are causing damage to your mind and body as we speak. But be gentle with yourself, you didn’t know that there is a secondary gain of living in a constate state of stress but once you tap inside, you will know what it is. And that is your starting point which leads to freedom.
How would your life look like if your normal state of living was bliss?
Featured image by Nubelson Fernandes on Unsplash.
Author:
Anna Doktor
Anna Doktor is a certified Health and Wellness Coach. She’s an advocate for body-mind connection, using food as medicine and incorporating body movement strategies to overcome the daily stressors. Anna battled depression, and burnout so she understands on a personal level how important it is to build your optimal health and wellness. Anna has been published in Thrive Global, Elephant Journal, The Burnout Club, Beam Magazine, Coast2Bay, and Sivana East. Find her on her Instagram or Facebook page. Visit her website here.
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