Imagine you KNOW that you’re the most important person in your life…. You wake up with energy and can’t wait to start your day! You look in the mirror and love who you see – a confident, kind and good human being!
You make time to calm your mind, move your body and feed your soul – every day.
You love yourself – and it shows with every thought you think, word you speak, and personal choice you make.
If you don’t immediately and wholeheartedly believe YOU are the most worthy and deserving person in your life, then time to reassess why, and where the bulk of your energy is being invested.
Many people, women especially, feel selfish at putting themselves first. Why?
We worry what will happen if we don’t get everything done, as if the world would fall apart. We feel guilty for wanting to say no, even when it places so much overwhelm on our shoulders. We think we can’t stop “doing” for fear of disappointing others. We hate to be a burden or show vulnerability, even though we willingly offer support to others.
Our expectations to be perfect, keep it together and not let anyone down often stems from underlying limiting beliefs and lack of self-worth: I’m not good enough or smart enough; If I don’t help out they won’t like me; I won’t be happy until everything is ‘perfect’…
Perfect is underrated, and leaves no room for continued growth.
Gentle reminder: No-one expects you to be perfect, except yourself.
Learning to accept who you are (even though you may like to make changes) opens the way for self-compassion and respect. And you deserve your own respect.
Examples might be:
- Saying NO when you really want to say no.
- Spending a little time alone each day to breathe and relax.
- Meditating to learn how to let go of unnecessary things.
- Stepping back from doing to enjoy more relaxing activities.
- Creating an evening routine to support restful sleep.
- Setting time aside to discuss your fears and problem solve them.
- Make time for your favourite activities and hobbies.
- Choose foods that energise, replenish and satisfy you.
- Eat slowly, mindfully and enjoy nourishing your body.
- Listen to your body over ignoring hunger or bladder signals.
Next, consider your lifestyle.
It’s important to know which areas may need some attention in improving your overall health and wellbeing as part of your daily self-care.
Look at all the areas of your life: family, work, fitness, stress, leisure, creativity and purpose/passions.
What are you doing to help yourself feel nourished in each area to assist in taking the best care of yourself?
- Are you managing your stress adequately?
- Are you making time to connect with friends and family?
- Are you enjoying time for your favourite sports or hobbies?
- Are you talking through your worries and actively problem-solving?
- Are you attending to your own needs with time for reflection?
- Are you getting enough quality rest and regular movement?
- Are you including protein rich foods and healthy fats at every meal?
- Are you challenging yourself to grow and develop?
Making self-care a priority takes practice and awareness, but in the end, you are responsible for respecting and valuing yourself and demonstrating the way for how others treat you.
Self-care is essential and non-negotiable. It’s a personal responsibility to embrace in creating a fulfilling and supported life.
Dare to make yourself a priority in your own life by setting healthy boundaries to protect yourself, and consistently adhering to them. It starts with you.
If setting healthy boundaries or creating self-care routines is a challenge for you, consider working with a qualified Holistic Life Coach to provide the safe and non-judgemental guidance and encouragement you need to make it happen. Or maybe even become one yourself for a life-changing deep dive into your own personal mindset, beliefs and behaviours!
Featured image by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash.
Author:
Viki Thondley
Viki Thondley-Moore is an Integrative Holistic Counsellor, Brain-Based Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Mind-Body Somatic Practitioner, Wellness Coach, Meditation Teacher, Educator and Disordered Eating Specialist. Viki is founder of MindBodyFood and Founder/Director of the MindBodyFood Institute.
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