3 Steps to Get Clear on What You Want

The holistic coaching process is always about enhancing the quality of thinking, feeling and behaving in the context of achieving individual goals, and reaching ones’ highest potential.

Positive psychology uses a similar step-by-step system to generate more positive emotions and new brain networks to counter the stress and worry loops in the limbic system and your amygdala (perception centre of fear).

We can take this knowledge and apply it to clarifying what you want towards a happier, meaningful and more fulfilling life.

Sit down in a quiet space with some paper, a pen and your favourite cuppa. The following steps will help to create some clarity around what you want and how you can plan to achieve it:

1. Define what you DON’T want

Contrary to opinion it’s not negative to be clear on what you don’t want. It’s necessary in weeding out the things that you simply aren’t willing to compromise on or live with any longer. In fact, often it is negative events and emotions that show individuals the problems they wish to solve, which result in them entering a coaching (or therapeutic) relationship.

2. Be CLEAR on what you do want

Once you know what you don’t want it makes it a whole lot easier to then focus on what you DO want in your life and keep your attention calmly focused on it.

Ask yourself WHY these changes are important to you: list as many benefits and reasons as you can. That way when someone asks or the going gets tough, you’ll know exactly why you’re making changes in your life because it will be clear in your mind.

LISTEN to your thoughts and find out where there may be limiting beliefs holding you back from creating this change. Perhaps you’ve tried before many times and now believe it’s just too hard, you’re a failure, or don’t deserve to feel happy…

Write these limiting beliefs down on the left. On the right side, CHALLENGE them:

• Are they really true or simply fears that you’re holding onto?
• What is true then?

Write them down as affirmative statements on the right side of the old ones, and remember to cross out the old ones as you go.

If they’re old beliefs from past experiences, replace them with the beliefs that will help you create the changes that you want in your life NOW. Remember to have faith in your own abilities and strengths – look at previous triumphs and strengths to build confidence and resolve around what you’re capable of.

3. Plan the STEPS required to take you from this point to that

Change can be described as conscious action-taking. This requires you to set a clear goal and break it down into daily, weekly and monthly action steps and start by making small but important changes EVERY DAY.

Keep in mind that it’s the small conscious choices you make DAILY that develop into new habits over time.

Finally, commit to your goals and yourself. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who believe in you, and BEGIN!